Skit

I wrote this in January of ’09 for a Christian Writer’s Guild assignment.


(laying on sleeping bags in a bedroom in their PJs)

Girl 1: This youth group sleepover has been awesome!

Girl 2: I know; I want to stay up all night!

Girl 3: Come on guys, you know I need my beauty rest!

(Girl 1 rolls her eyes)

Girl 2: (scoffs) Whatever.

Erica: Hey, I have an idea: let’s talk about our crushes!

(Girls 1, 2 and 3 nod excitedly, Serena hugs her pillow and looks away)

Erica: Okay, I’ll start. I have a HUGE (draws the word out) crush on Bailey McBride. He is so hot!

Girl 1: Gosh, Erica, we already know that! Like, everybody knows that. But, anyway (lowers her voice) I have a crush on Johnny Childers.

(all girls except Serena and Dana: “oooooooo…”)

Girl 2: Oh my word, I have, like, a massive crush on David Turner!

Girl 3: (Whining) Hey, wait a minute! I have crush on him too!

Girl 2: No way, he’s mine!

Girl 3: No fair! I should at least have a chance with him!

(Girl 2 hits Girl 3 with a pillow and it starts a pillow fight between them)

Erica (stands on her sleeping bag): Girls!

(Girl 1 and Girl 2 stop)

Erica: How about you, Dana?

Dana: Well, most of you know already that I’m dating Kyle Wright.

Girl 1: Oh really? Do you have a picture?

(Dana gets out a picture and they begin passing it around. After the picture circulates back to Dana, she puts it back in her bag.)

Erica: What about you, Serena?

Serena (quietly): I don’t have a crush on anyone.

Girl 2: Oh, come on. You’ve gotta have a crush on someone!

(Serena shakes her head)

Girl 3: She’s just saying that.

Erica: Do you still think boys have cooties or something?

Adult (Youth Sponsor): (opens the door and comes in the room) Lights out!

(turns off the lights and leaves)

(giggles in the darkness)

Erica: Ahhh! The cootie boys are coming to get us!

(laughter)


(in school hall)

Serena (shuts her locker door): I knew I shouldn’t have gone to the youth group sleepover last night.

Dana: Be like a duck, Serena.

Serena: huh?

Dana: Have you ever seen what happens when ducks get splashed with water?
Serena: Yeah, their down is water-resistant so the water can’t get through.

Dana: Right, and the water just rolls off.

Serena: (smiles) So I should just let their comments roll off me like water on a duck’s down.

Dana: Exactly.

Serena: Clever, Dana, clever. (sighs) But it’s hard; I feel so humiliated.

Dana: Just because you’ve committed to wait for the right guy to date doesn’t give them the right to make you feel bad about your beliefs.

Serena: I know, but this is when it gets difficult. I’m a junior in high school and I don’t have a boyfriend, while everyone else does.

Dana: What about those two guys you talk to a lot here at school?

Serena: They’re nice guys in all, but they don’t match my list. If a guy asks me out who doesn’t match my list, I have to turn him down, because I know he’s not the one.

Dana: Tell me more about the list.

Serena: Well, when I was in 8th grade, I gave my future to God. For me, that meant also giving up dating. I just felt God calling me to live that way; to save myself physically and emotionally for that special guy God has planned for me to marry. But I was worried about dating someone who wasn’t the right one. I first heard about the list from a friend who graduated last year. She wrote down everything she would like to find in a guy, and also wrote down things she felt like God was telling her about him.

Dana: So what’s yours like?

Serena: First and foremost, I wrote he must be a Christian serving God with his whole life. Then I wrote that he must be pure, you know, not wasting his virginity on other girls before he got to me. Then there are the personal things, such as: he should be funny, kind, loving; stuff like that.

(fashionable, confident looking girl (Meghan) walks up)

Meghan: What are you guys talking about?

Dana: (with attitude) Why do you care, Meghan?

Meghan: (tauntingly) Well, I was sure I heard Serena mention a “he” just a while ago. I thought you were anti-boy or something.

Serena: Where did you hear that?

Meghan: (slyly grinning) Oh, I have my sources.

Dana: You heard it from Erica, didn’t you? She’s the biggest loudmouth I’ve ever known!

Meghan: No comment. I have things to do. (stalks away)

(Erica walks by. Megan and her wave at each other and hug)

Dana: (rolls her eyes) That’s exactly the reason I don’t say anything when I’m around Erica. I learned it the hard way.

Serena: Really? How?

Dana: Before Kyle and I started dating, I was telling some of my friends that I liked him. And as you can probably guess, Erica happened to be around, and before I knew it, my secret crush was all over the school. I started chewing out my friends before I figured out none of them were to blame.

Serena: So what did you do?

Dana: Became a duck.

(Dana begins to walk away)

Serena: Hey, wait up! (quacks)

Dana: (laughs) Welcome to the family!

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